Plz help me! D: !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!?

-how do you wake up a fat guy? hes supposed to take me to the zoo today but hes still sleeping and i dont know how you wake that kind of person up.Crank up the stereo and let him wake to some of your music. When he's up, tell him its 1/2 hour later and ask if you're having breakfast at the zoo.
cook some bacon and make sure his door is open. have fun at the zoo!
I would rub a doughnut in his face. Shove some chocolate up his ***. Works like a charm.
jump on him, sticka banana down his throat